Gym Freak of The Week

For the longest time I have been trying to figure out the identity of this old man at the gym. Almost every time I walk in to the gym he is walking on the treadmill and I always think "man! he looks familiar!" then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks....

FATHER O'Neil From WEDDING CRASHERS was treading it up right before my eyes!!!!

I swear I was so convinced that it was him that I went home and did some research on the actor (Henry Gibson) and figured he must randomly live in my town or something, but alas, I found out that he died in 2009.

Oh well, I guess there is just a Father O'Neil stunt double who goes to my gym! haha

-Katie

Gym Freak Of the Week!!

It has been forever since I have done a GFoTW!!! Again, I think I am becoming immune to their freakish ways, but yesterday I realized that I need to snap out of it! These people are freaks!!

This realization came when I saw this for about the millionth time:

I'd say that this old man is at the pool probably 3 out of every 5 times I go. He does not exercise. He comes solely to soak up the rays that shine into the pool house from the skylights above. The greatest part you ask? He lays there for about 45 minutes, and naturally the sun rays slowly shift - and he moves with them!!!! So I'll start my work out with him in the farthest lane from me and by the time I am done he has his arms and legs hanging over the side of the pool into my lane!!

This old man comes complete with a huge belly, bright red swim trunks, and a white sweatband. I'm tempted to let him know that he can sunbathe at a public pool for less money than his gym membership and that he will get a constant flow of rays.... but I don't think he would listen.

-Katie

Gym Freak of The Week

Today I have had to create a new sector in the Gym Freak realm, which is the gym dress code freak. Reason being is that the girl under review today didn't do anything overly freakish, she just should have looked in a mirror before she left the house...

Exhibit A:

Here is my advice, and you can take it or leave it, but if you are going to wear super tight stretchy pants and a super tight stretchy long shirt with a thong that is obviously squeezing into your booty, please look in the mirror before you leave the house.

Because quite honestly I don't want to look at the outline of your thong digging into your body as I briefly walk by, so I'm going to guess that the lady on the treadmill behind you ins't too excited about looking at it for her 45 min workout.

Just a thought...

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

Oh boy here we go, straight out of the freak breading petri dish that is my gym....

Yesterday I was getting ready to get in the pool when I noticed a girl around my age who had just got in the pool as well. This really excited me because at my gym it is mainly old people who use the pool to do water aerobics/look like they are drowning. So whenever there is someone my age I get excited that I will finally have someone to pace off of - and challenge myself to kick their booty even if they don't know that in my mind we are racing. haha

So of course, yesterday, to my surprise there was a young girl in the lane next to mine, and not only was she my age, but she had a cap and goggles on, so I figured it was a no brainer - let's get this work out started.

UNTIL... my swim challenge started doing Bobs.

Up and down the lane, back and forth, bobbing up and bobbing down. I was so confused by what I was witnessing, and I actually had to turn the other way at one point because I thought I was going to laugh at her.

Needless to say, my workout went unchallenged, simply pacing myself off of the clock...

... maybe next time I won't assume that people who look like avid swimmers really came to swim laps. haha

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

It's that time again. Gym Freak time!

Last night when I was at the gym I was walking out to the pool [which in order to access you must go through the locker room and pass the showers] and I happen to catch this out of the corner of my eye:

I seriously had to do a double take! There was a woman in the shower stall, taking a shower, wearing LEATHER sandals AND JEANS!! I mean I understand wearing sandals in the locker room shower, even though they were leather which is a bit strange - BUT JEAN PANTS?!?!?! REALLY??!!

Aside from having an accident in your pants why on Earth would you need to shower with your jeans on? Just wondering.

FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

Finally! After quite a long break, I bring to you a Gym Freak of the Week. Although for my own safety and well being, it has been nice going to the gym and not having any freakish encounters - but lets be honest, it was only a matter of time before one crossed my path again...

So yesterday while minding my own business I happen to notice an old man come out of the locker room. Now I have seen him before and I've always pondered (from afar) if his "swim trunks" are really swim trunks or if they are actually underwear. And today my friends, I got my answer.

As he strolled past me on the swim deck (within a few feet) I had the opportunity to verify my curiosity, and I was right, he in fact was NOT sporting swim trunks, but instead boxers - and because I am ever so lucky, he happened to be wearing them inside out so I could even see the lovely white tag hanging out of the back.

What makes the situation even more gross/more awkward, is that before you use the pool/spa at the gym you have to shower, so this nasty old man with stringy gray hair is wondering around in boxer shorts dripping wet (imagine a wet t-shirt contest: old man style). I swear if I had been at ANY other angle I'm sure I would have seen something that would have taken the term gym freak to a whole new level.

So there you have it, there is an old man using the aquatic facilities at my gym in his skivvies. No joke.

-Katie

Gym Freak Of The Week

Believe it or not I have been going to the gym regularly eventhough it has been forever since I've had a GFTW to post about. I just hope they are getting less freaky and I'm not just becoming immune to their weirdness.

But nevertheless, there was a freak yesterday - and to my surprise it took place on the bicycle machine and not in the pool this time! So anyways, on my way to the pool I have to walk past a bunch of exercise equipment and right along the pathway there is a row of bicycle machines - no biggie.

Welllllll yesterday there was a man just cycling away and out of the corner of my eye I noticed something a TAD bit odd... in the drink holder of the machine where you would usually see a bottle of water I could have SWORN I saw a carton of milk. But by the time my brain processed the information and I proceeded to do a double take I was already past him.

Luckily for me (I guess haha) he was still there when I was leaving after my swim, so I was prepared this time to get a good look at the craziness that was happening right in front of my eyes. And sure enough it was a milk carton! And what makes it ever GROSSER is that it was HALF AND HALF!!! I kid you not.

I mean SERIOUSLY?!

Who A) drinks milk while they work out? NASTY!
and B) who on EARTH drinks half and half while they work out?!?! SO disgusting!!!!!!

I Love Love Love drinking milk, but I have the draw the line somewhere and I'm pretty sure milk does not belong at the gym! Hydrate with water you freak!

-Katie

Gym Freak Of The Week

As usual, I was swimming laps (maybe only freaks swim?) and I stopped to take a drink from my water bottle. As I was standing there I heard someone talking, and after they didn't stop I realized they were talking to me.

I turn to my right and I see this:

A Real Life Leprechaun

Straight off of the box of Lucky Charms (or maybe not) was a short fat little man with a read beard and bald head. As if I wasn't already disoriented enough after just swimming my little heart out AND trying to comprehend what on earth this little man was, I finally was able to tune in to what he was actually saying.

It went something like this:

Leprechaun: You swim so well and make it look so easy!
Me: ohh, yea... we I have been swimming for a long time
Leprechaun: Maybe you could give me swim lessons?
*Disbelief/Confusion/Awkwardness*
Me: uhhh I just know how to swim, I'm not sure if I could actually teach someone (even though I am fully capable haha)
Leprechaun: Oh ok, well I'll just watch you swim from underwater and see if I can get the hang of it that way
Me: umm ok.

I had no idea what to say. Luckily my workout was pretty much done, so I just swam a couple cool down laps and got the eff out of there! So creepy that he was watching me! EW! I mean at least he asked, but what was I supposed to do? Say no? AWKWARD!

So just in case you are as shocked as I was, let me reiterate:

I was asked for swim lessons by a leprechaun, who then proceeded to sit underwater and watch me swim.

And to make the whole situation even more disappointing, I couldn't even find his pot of gold.

-Katie

Can some one please tell me...

...what on EARTH this contraption is??? I saw it on my way to work the other day and I had to take a quick picture with my iPhone (highly dangerous haha).

It is a gutted van, with all of these crazy pvc pipe frames built around it, and what you can't see in the picture is that the van has a bunch of huge sub woofers in it as well - odd. I just don't understand the purpose of this "vehicle"
But regardless of the purpose behind this gypsy wagon, I'm going to go ahead and reasonably assume that the owner is a member of my gym...

-Katie

Gym Freak Of The Week

Yesterday I went to the gym. Did some laps, and headed out to the parking lot to go home and make some dinner.

To the naked eye, this scene would seem totally normal. But at the Gym of Freaks, there is something strange going on in the parking lot...

When observed closer, the red car parked in the handicapped space has their front driver air bag deployed.

I KID YOU NOT! The airbag was seriously inflated. I mean REALLY, who gets in a car accident (in which the air bags deploy) and STILLS goes to the gym??!!

FREAKS I TELL YOU!

I honestly couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, I think I need to start looking into other gym options haha

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

The other day my friend Stephanie and I went to the gym to go swim some laps, just like any other day. When we got in the pool we saw a man by the spa doing a rather interesting stretch...

He was laying on the ground with his legs up in the air leaning on the wall - spread eagle.

Ok Ok, so maybe some people have weird stretches, but he stayed like this for our ENTIRE workout. I don't think you need to stretch something for more than 30 seconds to a minute, let alone a half hour!!! Maybe he is one of those freaky people who likes the feeling of your blood leaving your limbs???

I don't know, but whatever it was, it was really odd.

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

For the longest time I've been giving this week's freak the benefit of the doubt. Thinking to myself, "Okay, there is no way he is really doing this on purpose" but now it is clear, after seeing him do it a handful of times, that yes he is in fact a freak.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you: Mr. I like to sit on a towel in my swimsuit next to the spa at the gym and read a novel - yet I never go in the pool or spa, nor do I exercise.

I've seen him do this on at least 5 different occasions, and finally, I had to rule him into the Freak category. I mean really? You pay for a gym membership to SIT next to the pool on the hard cement to read a book??? At least go into the treadmill room and run while reading or something, or maybe he just thinks he is doing some sort of exercising my osmosis (made that up) and just by being around others who are burning calories he will too??

I don't get it. But I guess that is why he is a freak and I am not... haha

-Katie

Gym Freak of The Week

When I went to the gym on Tuesday I was stretching and getting ready to get in the pool when I noticed an older lady staring at me. As you know at this gym gaulkers are fairly common, but they are usually men - so I was thinking "what in the world is she staring at? Is stretching really that weird??"

Then I Realized It: My Tan Lines

Unfortunately, my one piece lap suit is much higher cut on the hips than my bikini, which leaves me with a rather large/noticeable white zebra stripe in comparison to my somewhat tan body. So after spending the last few weekends boating and poolside, I have become relatively tan.

Which leaves me looking something along these lines (no pun intended):

So Ladies and Gents, the day has come.... I have gone to the dark side... I am officially a Gym Freak. But I mean, it was only a matter of time right?

-Katie

Gym Freak of The Week

Yesterday when I was stretching on the pool deck I encountered this week's Gym Freak of The Week. This old man came walking up to the lane one over from mine and just stood there, looking at the water. I'm like "oh great, did he just fall asleep standing up or something?"

No No, he didn't he was just contemplating his plan of attack. You see most older people enter the pool from the stairs because crouching down to the pool deck hurts their legs, so when he just stood there it was obvious he was planning an alternate method of getting in the pool. Which keep in mind diving isn't allowed.

So after what seems like forever, the old man decides to make his entry into the water, in what seems to be the world's biggest Fail of a Dive gone wrong into a Body Flop. Now normally I wouldn't care, but the wrath of the tidal wave that followed his body flop was SO big that it DRENCHED me.

I know you are thinking, "Katie, chill out, you are about to get wet anyways" but to that I say, I like getting in the pool on my OWN terms, not when the old inconsiderate man decides to belly flop into the pool. SO annoying!

So PLEASE enter the pool politely, Diving Is NOT Allowed for a Reason.

-Katie

Gym Freak Of The Week

So today's gym freak of the week is just plain creepy. As you all know, I swim laps.

The pool is indoors, but it has a window looking into the pool area from the inside of the gym. A lot of times when people are getting tours of the gym they will come to this window and peek out into the pool for a minute or so, no biggie.

Well yesterday, as I'm swimming laps I see an old man standing at the window next to my lane. I just brush it off and keep swimming my laps. But after about 8 more laps I notice he is STILL standing at the window watching me swim (I was the only one in the pool at the time).

TALK ABOUT PERVY FREAKY OLD MAN!
After it was apparent that he had no plans on moving from the window any time soon, I made it clear that I could in fact see him, by making eye contact with him, and then I got out of the pool. It was one of those "I feel like I've been visually undressed moments." So gross.

Here are a few tips on stalking/creeping for next time you sick old man:
1. Make sure the person you are creeping on CAN'T see you.
2. Just because the person you are creeping on has swim goggles on doesn't mean they can't see you through them.
3. Don't stand there for over 5 minutes, it's obvious you aren't just looking at the scenery

Happy Friday Everyone!!

-Katie

Gym Freak of the Week

This week's Gym Freak of the Week story is a little different. I wasn't even inside when it happened, I was leaving to escape the circus, but apparently, you aren't free of Freaks until you are off of the premises completely.

Anyways, as I'm leaving the gym to walk to my ever so faithful Jetta which is waiting for me in the parking lot, I hear a loud BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Similar in sound to the noise a large UPS or PG&E truck would make when it backs up, but this doesn't make sense because the parking lot is way to small to accommodate such large vehicles. Keeping this in mind I look around to see the following:

There is a lady in a red convertible Saab backing up because she overshot the parking space she wanted. Meanwhile her trusty Saab was letting EVERYONE within 5 miles know she was backing up with the annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP noises.

Seriously lady, are you THAT bad of a driver that you need a back up horn on your compact car?

-Katie

Gym Freak of The Week

Yesterday as I was swimming laps I started to feel a bit discouraged that I hadn't had any Gym Freak of The Week experiences yet, but then I had to reassure myself that I was jumping the gun, seeing as how it was only Tuesday.

I swear, not even two minutes later the Freak Gods heard me and they provided. I had just finished my cool down laps, and was getting ready to get out of the pool. I came up from the water, took my goggles and cap off, and started to reach for my Nalgene bottle when out of no where I hear the lyrics of Elvis resonating throughout the pool house (which apparently has pretty good acoustics).

I look around and see a man in his early 40's sitting in the hot tub, just belting out Elvis's Blue Moon at the top of his lungs. Now, there isn't anything wrong with singing, but I hardly doubt I'm alone in thinking this is abnormal behavior for a public gym setting, right?

Thank you Mr. Elvis Singer for keeping Gym Freak of the Week alive and strong. At this point, people like you are my motivation to go to the gym, for pure entertainment rather than the exercise.

Aside from my Gym Freak story I wanted to let all of you know that I'm guest blogging today for Ivy at Little Woman, Little Home while she is on vacation! She is one of my favorite bloggers and if you haven't already, you should really check her blog out!

-Katie

What is wrong with my gym?

I swear, I must have signed up to join the circus. As I was swimming laps yesterday I even contemplated having a weekly gym topic because I just keep coming across FREAKS at my gym. So from now on, these stories will be called Gym Freak of the Week, unless of course it happens more than once in a week, and if so, please pray for my sanity.

Anyways, for this week's Gym Freak of the Week:

As I was swimming laps, doing my thing, I took a quick refuel break to drink some water from my water bottle. I stand there for a bit, then as I'm putting my bottle back on the pool deck to start laps again, I gaze a few lanes over to see a man wearing glasses. No, no... NOT goggles, GLASSES, reading glasses.

I drew a picture to try to illustrate the situation for you (Please excuse my exquisite artistry, and don't feel intimidated, I know I am skilled) :
So there you have it. A man ready to swim laps with his reading glasses AND a Beavis on the bicycle machines within one week of each other. I'm not sure if I should be entertained or frightened haha

-Katie